


just like every other day

by snjeguljica33



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Jude Kinkade/Zero | Gideon - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-18 13:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13682304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snjeguljica33/pseuds/snjeguljica33
Summary: This is me still angry and unhappy that there is no more Zero, there is no more ZUDE ... but there is something that no one can take away from me ... my stories in which ZUDE will exist forever ...





	1. Chapter 1

Jude sits in the shade somewhere in the bottom of the hall and occasionally looks at what's happening on the ground where the team is training.

How many times has he promised to not do this. Not since Zero left, so many years ago. Anyway, he still struggled.

He wished he was not so weak, he could forget at least one day ... but he could not, he still could not ...

It was not fair to Sean with whom he lived for some time. It was not right even for himself. He seemed to have stayed in the time he loved Zero and was painfully aware that he did not move either.

Since then he lived on a auto pilot. He was not unhappy, just blank for everything around him.

For some time he was afraid he would become like an Oscar but he was not of that sort people. He was more of those people who just loved one, and when their heart breaks it never healed again.

*

Sean knew this from the first day. Jude never lied to him. Only, he was naïve thinking it would change over time, but he never really did.

Today is Feb. 14 and they agreed to go out for dinner. Sean knew that Jude would come with an occasional gift, with a cheerful smile on his lips, with those dimples on his cheeks ... He was already looking forward to it. Jude knew all his dreams and desires and tried to fill them. All except one ...

*

While still sitting in the hall and working on the laptop, one of the young players came to him. Jude talks to him about the past game. He wanted to maintain good relations with the team. He never acted as a big boss even though everyone knew how much he worked and what he meant for LA Devils .

The only person who had tied him for the past was Lionel. Sometimes they would go to dinner or drink. She was his anchor and even she claimed that Sean was good for him.

What they both appreciated for Sean, he was not from their world. He had nothing to do with basketball or any sports. Sean was a lawyer. Very conscientious and serious. Very similar to Jude. Not a little like Zero.

*

Dinner goes in a pleasant conversation, with excellent food and wine. Sean tells him about a new case, and Jude is listening carefully. He loves to listen to him, because although he looked serious, he was witty and knew all turned to the joke.

Maybe this kept them together. Sean always knew how to cheer him up, regardless how angry or tired he was after a hard day's work.  
It was not neglected either that he was good in bed. Although Jude has never been able to relax until the end.

*

Before they went home, Jude apologized and moved toward the toilette.  
He looks at his tired face in a huge mirror. He splashed face several times with cold water when they hear the door opening.

When he stood up and opened his eyes, his eyes in the mirror met Zero look.  
Jude was so firmly gripped by the sink that his hands turn pale, fearing that his knees would give in.

Zero with the same charming smile, while looking at in his eyes, simply says "Hey".

Jude breathed deeply a few times and when he was able to gather enough, speechless, rushed out...


	2. Chapter 2

When he comes back to the table, tries to calm down enough to make Sean not notice what's going on. He smiles poorly and tells him that they can go home now. Sean pays the bill and Jude gets the time to compose himself.

On the way to apartment Sean continues to talk, but Jude is somewhere far away in his mind.  
He had a feeling that his arms and legs become numb while he is trying to breathe normally.

They make love, but Jude is not present with the spirit. It haunted by Zero's eyes and the smile he always loved.  
After that he was so exhausted to sleep in seconds. Wake up at some time of the night until Sean quiet sleeps next to him. Now it is no longer certain whether meeting with Zero was the reality or just his imagination. It is thirsty, but there is no strength to stand up, it only looks dull in the darkness.  
He wants to stay here next to Sean because he deserved it. He gave him everything he ever wanted, all that Zero could not.

Zero to whom he had endlessly believed, and who left him in the end. Why is he still thinking about him?

Sean continues to sleep quietly, unconscious with what Jude is fighting for. Jude knew Sean loved him regardless. It made him even worse.

Jude can not figure out why Zero has appeared. He did nothing, he could not even look at him, he did not speak to him either. He still felt guilty.

Eventually, however, he got up and drank water. Then going to bed. In the morning, he'll probably be smarter, think before he sleep again.

*

Sean had already gone to work when he was jolted from sleep. Jude goes to the bathroom and is slowly preparing for a new working day. He was more peaceful now. If Zero appears again, this time will be ready.

A few days pass, and Jude calms down. He really thinks he imagined Zero.  
Sean notices that Jude is upset but lets him tell him when he be ready.  
As always, accepts Jude bad days as something that will pass. He would let him fight with his demons and wait for him to come back. And Jude will come back as always.

*

Jude traveled for three days because the revision of the contract of some players demanded his presence. 

He need a little rest from LA and Devils, from all known faces, even Sean.  
He wanted to use this time to finally decide what to do with his life, with his relationship. It had long been clear that his obsession with the past was not normal. That Sean deserved better. He must decide whether or not to release Sean or to let the past go where it belongs. Something else was difficult to exist.

Meetings have passed well. Jude was great at his job. There he has managed to separate brain of the heart, as opposed to intimate life.

He finished it before, but he did not want to go home yet. He'll stay another day in Boston and do nothing special.

During breakfast, he see Zero again passing through the hotel bar. Does that mind play with him?

He decides not to pay attention but to go to the city. He will strike new places to shake his thoughts. For hours he wanders blindly without doing anything special. When he returns to the hotel in the evening he is tired, but quite calm.

After dinner drank a glass of wine and went to bed. And now he can see, Sean is good for him. His life is now good and he hopes to stay like that. There is no need to return to the past.

With these positive thoughts, the next morning he return to LA. Sean welcomed him at the airport and kissed him happily. Jude smiles. This is his home, which should begin to respect. Get Sean by the hand and go home.

Sean soon took him on vacation. Jude does not remember the last time he had free days. All the time they swim, sunbath, rest. It does not responding on a cell phone. He was not even aware of how much he needed it.

When he goes to lunch where Sean is waiting for him, Jude sees Zero again. What is happening? If he imagines, he should seek professional help, but if this is the reality, does Zero follow him?

He does not think nor moment, but went to the place where Zero stood. This will be solved once and for all.

He reached for him and Zero turned around with a smile. Now see that Zero is really here, but is not sure if he should be scared or angry?

"What do you want?" Jude asks more loudly than he intended.   
Zero knows he's angry "Hello" says very calmly "Nothing special, I'm on vacation, you?"

Jude is trying to calm down. People are around them and do not want to make a scene. He just wants this to stop and drops the tone "Really? Of all places in the world you chose just this? "

Zero laughs loudly "Well maybe, just maybe somebody told me you were here ..."  
Jude shook his head "I'm not alone" just want Zero to stop flirting.  
It seems that Zero can not do otherwise "I know ... maybe we should have something drink together?"  
Jude interrupted him "Why did you come back?" intentionally ignores his suggestion.

Zero knows this was not a good idea, but he could not help himself. He was deceived in the assessment and knew what that meant.  
Jude did not forgive him, but he did not forgive himself either.

At the next moment, Jude turns around at the restaurant and sees that Sean is already waiting for him and he murmured something, turns and leaves, leaving Zero standing alone ...


	3. Chapter 3

Zero was looking for him for a few more moments and went to his room.  
He went to the fridge and took whiskey. He walked by the window, but does not really see the beautiful view that shoots on the shore, because he remembers what he did ten years ago.

He had no choice, at least he meant that. And he knows that has destroyed his and Jude’s life. What Jude did not know, and Zero could not tell him, was a conversation with Oscar. Though he apparently dropped out of the club, he could not reconcile with Jude happiness. He made it very clear that he would do everything to prevent them. When he said everything, Zero knew what that meant.

He gave him only one possible exit and Zero decided after a lot of sleepless nights. He hoped that Jude would pass over time, but at least he would be alive.

*

Now, Oscar was a sick old man who could not do anything. Zero did not know why he had not come back earlier. In fact, he knew why. He could find no justification.

Now he knew that they could solve it together, oppose Oscar. It just had to share it with Jude.

But that ship long ago sailed and still had no right to say what Oscar did. He was still Jude’s father.

He laughs with bitterness. What did he think Jude would do when he saw him again? How could he be so stupid? Jude was angry and hurt. Besides, Jude was now in relationship and obviously moved on.

He was angry at himself, why he could not go any further. But how he could? Jude was the love of his life. Jude, with whom he wanted all, home and family. Jude who was no longer his ...

*

After the vacation, everything seems to get back to normal. Jude decided to do all that show to Sean he was completely devoted to him and their relationship. Sean was thrilled. He finally dared to hope that Jude was completely his and that he would live happily forever.

One morning when Jude came to work, received news that Oscar died. He sit in silence trying to give him such respect, but he does not really feel anything. Absolutely nothing. The word FATHER could not be tied to the Oscars, so it was not so sure that the MAN was a word that could be described him either. He shook his head and moved on to work. It was time to break all the connections with that part of the past too.  
But a little hasty ...

After some time, he was invited by the law office to come to the inheritance debate. He knew this was about Oscar and although he was thinking of sending only a letter, he was curious, so he appeared at a meeting at an agreed time.

"Mr. Kinkade "attorney kindly greet him and ask him to sit down. She read a short Oscar will. She mentioned a few properties which Jude did not want, but he decided to think about what to do with them in the future.  
The only weird thing was the box with a few personal Oscar stuffs that she handed to him at the end of the meeting.

Jude puts the box in his office. He looks at it for a while and then opens. There were several things: a few things of his late mother, a few of his things when he was a kid. There a few pictures and at the bottom of the box a letter. Jude thought Oscar had at least a little humanity in himself. He decides in that name and opens a letter.

When reads to the end he do not notice tears streaming down his cheeks. He sat in the chair for hours, unaware that the darkness is out there. When he finally got up did not go home, but to the first bar he came across. When he drinks several drinks, the pain does not stop. Suddenly everything is clear to him.  
Now he must find Zero.


	4. Chapter 4

Jude knew that it would not be difficult to find Zero. He left footprints, though he had not been trying to contact Jude recently.

Zero stayed in LA for a while, but he lost some hope and he was already planning to leave. He just did not know where and with what purpose.

That night when Jude knocked on the door of his hotel room, it was the last before he intended to leave. Zero let him in the room a little surprised to see him.

Jude is still upset and does not know how to start, and as they both stand in the middle of the room, he simply handed him a letter.

Zero sits with a letter in his lap and does not dare look at Jude.   
"Now I understand" Jude says, and pulls the chair closer to him and sits too.  
This will change his life again and there was nothing he could do against it. He and Zero were soul mates. The fact that Oscar separated them for some time, only strengthened what they once had.

Jude was aware that he would have to talk to Sean, that will hurt a man who gave him everything. But it did not make sense to prolong agony. Well, under the price of someone calling him selfish.

That night Jude and Zero talk about everything that happened in these ten years when they were separated. They still do not touch each other. Zero tries not to put pressure on Jude. He knows that Jude is one of those people who do not want to lie to anyone and will solve what he has now if he decides to try again with him.

In the morning Jude went to work. Although he did not reply to Sean, he knew he should send a message with some explanation as soon as possible. And he knows they'll have to talk, better sooner than later.  
He hopes he will not hate him. He hope their relationship will not end with ugly words.

Sean assumes something's happening. Jude did not come home last night, and now came in with an indefinite message.   
When they get home that evening, Jude asks him to talk. He does not go too far in the details, just tells him to break up and move away as soon as possible. Of course, he mention Zero is back.

Sean is mostly silent. He had always known that this day would come. Jude was not guilty, Zero was the love of his life, no one could do anything about it. He could only hope he would find such a love one day.

Jude rent a temporary apartment, while Zero has returned to NY where he has lived in recent years. He did not have anything special to take, anyway those years were lost and irrelevant until now when he returned to Jude. He does not need anything special, his professional career is over and now he can devote only to Jude.

From now on he will try to make up Jude for everything he owed him. He will try to show him every day love which Jude deserved.  
Perhaps life is not always fair enough, but in the end if you are patient and trusting enough in someone, two souls which is meant to be eventually to be found again.


End file.
